home (extended edition)

hey. we're home. heartfelt apologies to anyone that thought we had fatally succumbed to swine flu- we haven't, but we have been away in order to fully recouperate, and i am that highly distractable person that forgets about the internet (if not those i encounter upon it) after a day's enforced absense. we are all well and hope that you are too.

what you can see above is not our home, but that of my father. actually that's a lie. it is the home of an iron-age person, as seen from the land my father and his wife own. if you crunch across the drive and wander down the top field at seven pm (invariably with glass of wine in hand) this is the view.

so that's where we've been. enjoying the unexpected sunshine, eating expansive meals cooked on the aga, striding about in the manure with dogs at our heels. the yearling won champion of champions at the show, rudy actually did a drawing (of the sun!), i made a lasagne that could enter an appropriate hall of fame; we had a good time.

*****terrifyingly long asd rant paragraph alert*****

my father's wife is essentially a top-tier senco. she makes decisions that impact upon every sen kid in the country (which, just to confuse you, is not the country i live in). she literally identified rudy's dyspraxia at 200 paces. but asperger's?... seeing him thrive in a different context, realising how far he has come in the last six months ,witnessing his extensive, gregarious social skills and his overall adaptability anew made me able to review the recent assessments in a different, less trusting way. he's an intelligent, flapping kid with a broad vocabulary. we live in a 'deprived' area... perhaps attempts are being made to find more serious (neurological?) explanations for an inherent geekiness than are actually appropriate. for example, it was noted by the occupational therapist recently that dyspraxia was not evident during her assessment, and that his coordination difficulties are more the product of sensory processing issues. while i accept that all the recommendations she made would be helpful to rudy in terms of developing his physical and sp capabilities, i am more wary, than i was, of her suggestion of an asd label. the label could get in the way more than what i perceive as the real issues. i don't know if rudy will end up in the nba, say, but to summarily dismiss it does him a disservice (rudy is tall, so i'm not being entirely delusional.) as the statementing and support funding process in england changes, rudy will receive whatever support he needs without that definitive label. other friends and family who happen to be teaching and support assistants are beyond alarmed by the suggestion that rudy could be autistic. the preliminary speech and language report references an inability to correctly describe what is going on in an illustration of a girl drying her hair with a towel. rudy laughs and says she has a rug on her head, which in our house is about as likely. an inabillity to identify that an elephant is talking on the telephone and has the cord wound around his trunk ("he has a spring on his nose") is fair enough, as far as i'm concerned... rudy was born in 2004 and as such has never met a corded 'phone. is this not, again, cultural/environmental... and actually okay? we recently encountered a bizarre munchhausen-ish/ competitive statementing situation very close to home, which, while i won't go into the details, delivered a timely dose of further objectivity.

the paediatrician might tell me otherwise on wednesday but as far as i am concerned, there is no issue that isn't covered by the dyspraxia dx. and that's that. i'm home.






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malaise de la maladroit

my son was recently diagnosed with developmental coordination disorder recently- or dyspraxia, or congenital maladroitness, or clumsy child syndrome. pick one, they are all the same thing.

there are certain differences between r.baby and other kids. he can't catch a ball, write his name, hop, draw a picture, or walk across a room without falling over or breaking something. he is very bright, but has problems following instructions and ordering his thoughts. he is very easily distracted. he is obsessed with small details, robots, and small details of robots. i am at the moment trying to work out if he might have asperger's syndrome, as charmingly portrayed on the big screen in "napoleon dynamite" (... at least that's what *i* think automatically of. i think it's a coping mechanism on my part- in the face of my son's special needs, i see jon heder falling off a bike and do a quiet guffaw. i am probably going to hell.) my son starts school in september, and i want him and the classroom he is going into to be as prepared as possible, and i suppose i just... want to know.

there's such a lot of overlap between the two conditions that one minute i am content with the d.c.d. diagnosis, and the next i am racing to the internet typing "my son walk on his tiptoes, flapping his hands and licking things whenever he is excited- aspergers?" into google and biting my nails down to the cuticle. should i be pushing for an asperger's diagnosis? who exactly is that going to help? and exactly who has just spread black poster paint all over the living room?

of course i am concerned for him. his school career, and indeed his life career are not going to be easy. i should know because i have d.c.d. too, and it's been a whirlwind of disorganised thought, rubbish coordination, wierd spontaneous behaviour, stumbling over my feet (physically and metaphorically), being thought generally odd, and the pitiful self esteem levels that this entire bundle of joy results in. this is maybe why it took so long for r. baby to be diagnosed- i think his behaviour is entirely normal.

oddness leads to isolation, and i see this happening already in his social life. other kids aren't that interested in hearing extended monologues about wall-e's elbows or lack thereof, and r. baby has a habit of zoning into a hinge or an axle, say, on a toy and operating it, transfixed, for hours. on the other hand though, he is outgoing and confident and sensitive to other people's thoughts and feelings, even if sarcasm is entirely out of his range of understanding. everyone loves him. now.

he is to be re-assessed in four months, and should be hearing from occupational therapy any day now. i am adrift in indecision.

on the plus side, however, i have found the perfect wedding guest dress. now i just have to work on becoming the perfect wedding guest.