Saturday, 26 September 2009


when the kids were little, i did a lot of distracting whenever they were upset or wanted something they weren't allowed... i manipulated their attention so that they were more disposed to do things in a parent led, safe way. i got a lot of good feedback about this when other more experienced parents witnessed me doing it, so i kept doing it. i was after all making it up as i went along, like we all do to a greater or lesser extent.

i was just watching rudy playing with a little toy in my room. engrossed for a minute, it then whizzed under the bed, and his attention then jackknifed onto the subject of what is under my bed- poppy's birthday present. we had a brief conversation about that and secret keeping and reassurances that he too would have another birthday one day, and i instinctively redirected his attention to a book. in the space of a minute, he went from the book, to some makeup brushes, to a bust of the virgin mary (long story), to rubbing this french sort of plush bunny (my daughter's) across his face and naming it linda, to turning the lamp on and off, to pressing his wrists against a mirror, to squirting from a perfume bottle, back to the book, found the toy, dismissed it, to putting an emery board in his mouth, to starting a conversation about transformers whilst running the entirety of his arm up and down my duvet, to running out of the door muttering. as the paediatrician says, he's a busy boy.

might my technique of distraction have something to do with it? or am i making it all about me again?



  1. the second one. Silly, that's the point of a blog. errr. isn't it?

  2. hesounds like Egg. well except the make up brushes and perfume (I am not alive, so I don't need these things, one day I will be me, but not now, wow, that is pretty sad). Tis not you, I am pretty sure. But I know why you think it. I know a lot of Egg is doing to how shit I am, btw I am not calling you shit for your distraction, that is awesome and when I don't suck it is what I do, I mean things like Eggs temper is down to mine etc. Was a bit gutted when he found a birthday present under your bed I was expecting something a little different ;)

  3. laura- the behaviour not the blog... but yeah! ftw!

    r-ma- i've just looked under my bed and also located a waybuloo magazine, a dusty nightdress, a robot dog and some size 13 havaianas. pretty tragic. a friend of mine had some of her son's friends over one day a few years ago. she was having a nice cup of getting to know you tea with the other kids mums in the living room while the boys played nicely. "this is lovely" she was thinking. until two of the boys crashed into the room, sword fighting with the loo brush... and her vibrator.

    the perfume bottle is empty by the way. i'm not sure why it's still there. get thee to lush and sort yourself out with one of those solid perfumes. changed my life. a bit.

  4. We all distract and boss and wheedle and cajole and speak logically and all of the above and then we all have all different kinds of kids. I am sure we affect our kids but I am not quite sure how. When we figure it out we can all write a book and make gazillions of euros.

  5. hmm. like any relationship, it's about chemistry... and people being people (fallible, wonderful, terrible) i don't know if there *can* actually be a point at which it can be determined what is innate and what is upbringing. all we can do is our best, but sometimes guilt intercedes to tell us that that simply wasn't good enough.

    expect "larkin had a point" to debut at no. 781,856 on the amazon chart after an exhaustive and at times explosive publicity tour...

    i don't really fancy sitting on the sofa at gmtv selling that particular book.

  6. And the question is, always, when is guilt right?

  7. I mean things like Eggs temper is down to mine etc. Was a bit gutted when he found a birthday present under your bed I was expecting something a little different ;)

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