Tuesday 31 March 2009

the inevitable


here's one of those ten things about me posts. well, i'm tired, and its my blog. plus, i have some things to say that i cant be bothered to "work" into proper posts; i'll probably find some other stuff to inappropriately share in order to fill in the gaps.

1. i spent much of my adolescence nurturing an appalling crush on jeff goldblum.

2. the other week we spent some time with another child and their mother. some things that were said bothered me, but not enough to inform social services. let's just say we have different ways of looking at life. maybe it's a cup half full/ empty thing, but the children had a nice time and surely that was the point. now said mother is avoiding me. so, i can't help but wonder, like some sort of playground carrie bradshaw, and that can't be a good thing, what did she take about me from our meeting? and why do i care when i think she's quite mental?

3. fish oil changed my life.

4. a million years ago, in another life, drunk, i said something really thoughtless and hurtful to alexander mcqueen, simultaneously talking myself out of a studio assistant position, shortly before the rest of my party were removed from the premises by the police for an unrelated offence. i would like to take this opportunity to apologise... but i won't, because there is no way alexander mcqueen is reading this. if any representative of mr. mcqueen would like to make their presence felt in the comments section, hopefully we can move forward from here. thanks.

5. i have a shameful affection for pink kitchen appliances.

6. apparently, i narrowly missed being named "sunshine". formally. given that i have spent much of my life thus far shrouded in SPF30, black hair and anxiety, this represents a heartbreaking missed opportunity to ultimately define irony, and furthermore really stick it to alanis morissette.

7. way back in the mists of time, two months ago, my first post on this here blog concerned the fraught tension and horrific drunken fallout that typifies the shared wedding attendance experience of myself and my young man. in order to avoid yet more nuptial based misery, i proposed wiping the slate clean, perhaps literally, with my flattering but dismal grey £10 go-to frock, replacing it with something joyful from vivienne westwood. in order to illustrate just a tiny part the riotous palette i will be wearing to a wedding this saturday, see the shoe above. unfortunately this shoe is popping up, priced, in advertisements next to most uk fashion and beauty websites. edit- and train information ones. this bothers me, but no matter. hopefully anyone not duly absorbed by the happy events taking place will be dazzled enough by our lustfully fond and clearly fulfilling relationship to notice the obvious high street provenance of my footwear.

8. i refer to my neighbour with an abusive name from which one might infer that he is of scottish heritage (i have no reason to that this is the case) but also not nice. he has never once responded or spoken to me, his language is vile, and he does passive aggressive things with the boundary hedge.

9. in paris over the new year period, i managed to drop my purse full of small denomination uk currency all over the floor of a very busy starbucks. what followed can only be described as breathtaking gallic gallantry and wit regarding the strength of the pound sterling, which i was completely unable to handle. i found myself grinning and batting my eyelashes like some sort of demented miss world contestant with allergies. i would say i died a little death, but that means something quite different in france, and certainly not something starbucks stands for. obviously, i didn't.

10. i would very much like to stay in a treehouse with a dvd player. my ideal holiday might well revolve around a hot tub, greenery, a sopranos box set, rain, and stilton.




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